Letter to My Children (July 23, 2017)
I came across this photo of your sister's wedding. She is dancing with Grampa, my father. Dad (Tom) and you children were not there, forbidden from attending by those who were influencing you. I was not compliant. Along with everyone else that actually had a brain, I was removed from your lives in order to 'be broken.'
Unacceptable deeds and lies wrapped in respectability, give an air of credibility. However, just as the documentary explained, years pass, and those who were abused and destroyed, regain confidence and courage. To open up and let the world know what really happened. And it is not the made up cliches, put out by our abusers. They are just fanatics who take the Lords name in vain while keeping their wealth, power and fake reputations intact; and sacrifice the good and the honest, in order to safeguard positions of 'trust.'
Look at the sad face of my father. He is dancing with his granddaughter, whom he walked down the aisle because her father would not attend her wedding because a pastor told him not to (and her grandmother refused to attend as well, thereby complicit in the abuse). While truly good men and women stepped up to protect us as we were being bullied, helping me by organizing a beautiful wedding and reception for our daughter. These protested loudly (with their words and actions) that it is wrong to be quiet when people are being tormented.
How sad it is, that few are so helpful (as my friends and family were helpful), to the survivors. No wonder people stay silent for so long. Why are victims blamed?! Those who are traumatized by bad men and women need loads of love and support and affirmation and stalwart souls to condemn in loud words and ways, that God does not batter people into compliance.
God is good and hates for the strong to abuse the weak. He states the opposite. The strong ought to bear up the weak. Like carry them on your back till they can walk on their own again.
Our daughter has been through hell. Bad people taught her father to nearly destroy her, her young son and her mother. Now over four years after when this picture was taken, she is learning to find her voice again. And regain some of her natural strength, courage, and optimism in the face of evil. It has been one of my constant jobs, helping her relationship with her dad, encouraging him to apologize and make amends for what he did. Showing him to do everything in his power to atone for the horrors of those days. Not running from guilt, but acknowledging it openly. So he can finally find peace of mind.
Due to individuals in my life who loved and supported me, I am able to speak. Tell our story. Good people who adamantly told me that it was not my fault I was abused, they were proud of me, protected me, exposed lies by defending me, affirmed my value and dignity. They cried with me and got angry as they heard our story, bit by awful bit. They supported me financially when my husband and his parents refused to, in the beginning. (Fearful of people finding out what their son had done, they behaved badly as well.)
Honesty is a lost virtue these days, amongst pillars in the communities. Too many skeletons in closets. Thankfully, time does heal somewhat, and our mouths are unlocked, and out come details of unbelievably terrible actions. The evil doers look so good, and our stories are shameful and shocking. But it is still the truth. And telling it does warn and protect others from a similar fate. Stop blaming the victims. Start defending and protecting them.
Articles of Survivors who told their stories:
http://thewartburgwatch.com/2017/07/21/why-predators-choose-careers-in-the-clergy-and-the-members-who-love-them-anyway/
http://thewartburgwatch.com/2017/07/17/chad-robison-worship-leaders-at-seven-rivers-presbyterian-church-pca-allegedly-molested-many-children-and-authorities-need-your-help/
http://thewartburgwatch.com/2017/07/05/is-child-sex-abuse-more-prevalent-among-protestants-than-among-catholics/
http://thewartburgwatch.com/2017/06/30/cognitive-dissonance-a-child-molester-goes-to-a-purity-ball/
