Letter to My Children (January 6, 2019)

Dear Jonathan, Sarah, Joshua, and Christina,

     How are you all? I am sorry for not writing sooner. You know how things happen and all we need is our own family? The past year we have needed you all, our own family, more than ever. God never left us for sure, but you are our children and should have been able to help us throughout. But you don’t. Or can’t. Depending on who is trying to explain to me why my kids do not call, write, text, come to see me. Since December 25, 2011. Seven years ago.
     At night, if I am tucking in your little nephews, Noah, John, and Peter—I pray with them. We ask God to watch over and bring home each of you, and their little cousins (our grandchildren), PennyRose, Jackson, Weston, Madeline, and Hudson.
     I love you. Each one of you. I hope you had a nice Christmas. And New Year. I hope you are all healthy. Sarah are you well? Jonathan are you ok, how is little Hudson feeling? Joshua, we are very proud of you getting your electrical engineering degree, we always wanted you to. And Christina we are very proud of you and your nursing degree. Good girl, following in your aunt's steps.
     Most people do not realize, that your church and pastors will not let you have any contact with us, and the rest of our family. I know that Sarah and Christina are allowed to text dad when he texts them. But not the rest of us. We are grateful for any little bit of contact though. It comforts us to know anything, no matter how unjust, or small. Surely seven years of enforced isolation, per Pastor Scott, is enough torture for our family? Please let my children go. Tell them to call their mom, call their sister, call their dad. We love them and need them.

Love you all so much,
Your own mother

A Letter to Sarah from Gretel (September 28, 2018)

Dear Sarah,
     I was thinking of you this morning while I made up a few of Mom/Gramma Eileen's apple pies. It made me think of how mom used to make cupcakes for our class on our birthdays, and then how we made our own things to take in as we got older. Remember when you helped me make this for my class? I think it was for my birthday. It is one of my happiest memories I have of you and I growing up. I took it to school and shared it with my class. It was so tasty, and everyone loved it.
     I looked up to you. You always were the best at baking. You were tall and striking and beautiful. You were my big sister, and I was in awe of you in many ways. I still love you and am in awe of you in so many ways. Please come home, and don't be too proud to admit you are wrong.
     And when you come home, we can make this cake again! I am looking forward to it! I love you Sarah Bear! Xoxoxo

Love you now and forever,
Your Little Sister Gretel

Letter to Calvary Temple and the Fitch Children from Ellen (September 20, 2018)

Dear Calvary Temple and the Fitch Children,

     Like many of you, I have known Molly Fitch for many years. I remember when she first would come to visit Calvary, we loved her from the start. She often came bearing gifts; the best homemade pies, maple syrup, apples, and of course, presents for the newest babies. I always wished I could spend more time with her, but she often came and went so quickly. Still, the little bit of time spent with Molly was a gift indeed.
     Fast forward 25 years. These days I see Molly often, she still comes bearing gifts. This time a beautiful wine colored mum and a dozen organic eggs. In times past she brought me what became my favorite mug for my morning tea, books for my library, and a bottle of blueberry flavored vinegar. Through these past 8 years, she has brought me lovely thoughtful gifts she knew i would appreciate.
     The greatest gift, it goes without saying but I will say it anyway, has been her friendship. When my dearest Nancy went home to Jesus, Molly was one of the wonderful friends who stepped in to help fill the emptiness. I am not sure what I would have done without her. We spent hours crying and praying, laughing and remembering. We have shared our pain and our hope. And I know, without a doubt, I can call on Molly night or day for help and she will rush to my side. A true friend, a true sister, and an example of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. "A friend that loveth at all times."
     Jonathan, Sarah, Joshua and Christina, your mother was here yesterday. As you know, she comes often to try to see you and your children. Each time, she brings gifts for one or all. Your mother headed out to shop for a gift for her newest grandson. Jonathan, your mom was happy and smiling, knowing she was able to buy your son a gift. She left here in a flurry of excitement, filled with joy knowing she has a new grandbaby. Has anyone ever loved her children and grandchildren more that your mom? She lives and breathes the hope that one day soon, you will all come home to her, your father and your sister.

Letter to Jonathan from Gretel (September 15, 2018)

Dear Jonathan,

      It has been just over a year now, since I last saw you on September 2 and cried, broken-hearted, as you told me with nonchalance that you had nothing to say to me. I was six months pregnant, and I cried with my heart broken anew by you. I wept, and you looked on without pity. You didn't hug me or even utter a single kind word. You just looked with a look of stone cold and turned and went away. As I sat on the end of my car silently crying, you got into your car and drove away. You wouldn't look at me as you drove by. You didn't wave. All I could think of was how this might be the last time I saw you. I hadn't seen you since when? Had it really been 5-6 years since I saw you last? And now one more year has come and gone.
     I don't know if you guys ever think of me in September or even remember that my birthday is in two weeks, but I think of you all even more constantly this month. I loved my birthday so much growing up-birthday breakfasts before school and birthday dinners with the family were the best! You would call if you weren't there and after Sarah moved out, she sent me flowers and had them delivered to school! For the last 6 years, I have dreaded my birthday, because in all that time, I have not had one gift, one card, one call, or even a text from you, Jonathan or Sarah or Joshua or Christina simply to say happy birthday or that you love me or are thinking of me. Yesterday, our aunt was telling me that I should have a birthday party this year. As I explained to her how hard that day is for me without you all, I started to cry. It surprised me how close to the surface that pain and longing for you all is. And last night just thinking over the day, I silently wept for you all again. I miss you, Jonathan.
     I miss you hugging me and saying like you used to "It's okay, Buddy. Don't cry." I need you back. Please come back to us. I don't want to celebrate this birthday without every one of you, please. Please.

Love you forever, Your Buddy and Little Sister

Letter to Jonathan, Sarah, Joshua, and Christina from Mrs. McDougall & Gretel (September 2, 2018)

Dear Jonathan, Sarah, Joshua, and Christina,

     I have written before and quoted Scripture but to no avail. Your hearts are obviously hardened against the Word of God because this blog, written by so many people who love you, has consistently quoted Scripture in the hopes that your hearts & souls would be touched by God’s Holy Spirit. Seven years is a long time to reject THE TRUTH and embrace a family wrecking cult.
     When the Communist Chinese were overrunning Tibet, the  Dalai Lama was asked what he said to his brother monks. He said, “I hope that you have been worshiping the God of the structure and not the structure of the God.” You appear to have turned your eyes from Jesus to worshiping the structure- pillars, pews & people (and classic car collections!) The idea that you follow a dirty old man who claimed to be a shepherd but preyed on a young innocent lamb in his care is repugnant. Or a Waleed who told your sister Gretel that she was of NO value to God and should go play in the world’s pig pen - sex, drugs & rock ’n roll!! When sated return repentant and just maybe she would be welcomed back into the bigoted, intolerant arms of your fellowship. The irreparable damage these people have done while claiming to be God’s mouthpiece, demands an Old Testament judgment and a millstone just won’t do.
     Gretel Marie is up in Canada visiting us with her three boys - your nephews - Noah, John, and Peter. A blessing that you are missing out on .....We were going through old pics and thought you might enjoy a trip down memory lane from Alison’s wedding when Sarah & Gretel were flower girls or sitting with Joshua, Gretel, and Duncan on the roof of the fort under the crabapple tree at your childhood home in Perry.

May you return to your mother’s arms soon!

Mrs. McDougall & Gretel

Letter to My Children (August 30, 2018)

Dear Jonathan, Sarah, Josh, and Christina, 

     Isn’t this a beautiful picture? It is the day your first nephew, Noah Caleb, was born. We were all together then, of course. Jonathan, I love the tender way you are holding your little nephew. And Christina, you are so sweetly crooning over him. We were all there for Gretel’s delivery of Noah. It was a specially close time for our family. 
     I know that you and Carly are expecting your third child Jonathan. I have never been allowed to hold any of your babies. Or even know when they were born. I do not have their birthdates or even know their full names. Crazy huh? Because we are such a loving and close family. How could one Pastor tear you so completely away from your natural family, one this close? Look at this picture children. This is who we are. You are like robots now. Wake up, please. Come home. I love you, want you, need you, miss you, and cry for you. Always and forever. 

Xo Your own mom

Letter to Sarah Foster Akel from Ellen (August 16, 2018)

Dear Sarah Foster Akel,

      Today Molly and I visited your parents, grandparents, and brother. The drive to their home is so peaceful and beautiful, but nothing compared to when we walked into the house. Greetings and hugs all around, lots of love. Sarah, your parent's home is as it always was, full of joy, peace, and laughter. God is present.
     As always, we hoped your dad would bless us with some hymns on the piano. As he played, my mind drifted back to the day of your wedding. I remember you standing at the piano in your living room with your mom and dad. I don't recall which song he played, perhaps you can remember. And I remember you and your mom dancing and singing in the kitchen to "We're Going to the Chapel." I remember seeing tears of happiness in your mother's eyes as she laughed and hugged you.

     And then I thought of the last time your dad played the piano for worship service at Calvary Temple. On a Sunday morning, as your parents walked out to their car, Chuck LaRock informed your father that his services would no longer be needed. Just like that, 40+ years of humble, beautiful, sweet, anointed worship tossed to the side. No apology or explanation. 
     And as your dad played the beautiful hymn "Even Now," your mom spoke of the great gift of sitting back in her chair, closing her eyes, and listening to him play. She told me she could listen for hours, never tiring, because she knows he is anointed to worship the Lord through his music. 
     I recorded your dad playing and singing this beautiful worship song. Even Now, Sarah, fall to your knees and ask God and your family to forgive you. You will be welcomed with open arms.