A Christmas Letter to My Children Part II (December 24, 2020)


This photo taken within a few days of being brought back home from the first 3 months isolation. Noah hadn’t seen me in that long. Although daily with me ( his mom worked) since birth, he’d forgotten me. Late September 2011.

Back to two weeks before Christmas. So not allowed in church, not allowed to Christmas plays, or school events. Just work and care for Tom. Christmas Day approached. That morning, as they were about to leave the word came...Molly cannot come to church for Christmas service. I so wanted to go. I had never NOT gone to a Christmas morning or Christmas Eve service. Could I attend another church? No. ‘Why would you want to darken another church with my rebellious self?’ The reply to Tom...to me.

Tom, Joshua, Christina went to church. I stayed home. Cooked Christmas dinner for the family. Set the table. Presents were still under the tree, we all were getting together after service for our family Christmas.

But they did not come...for hours. A long meeting following service encouraging you to the heinous act. Christina and Josh looked sad. Tom looked beat up. Jonathan and Carly led the attack. Brutal, swift. ‘Mom, you are a great mom. 90% good but 10% darkness. You must leave. Get a job and support yourself. Until you are broken. Whether it takes months or years (right now I cannot recall the exact number of months and years stated...I have it written down elsewhere). Dad joined in...’You are a good wife.’ Josh and Christina looking at their hands.

Stunned. Why? This is wrong. If you do this to me, you’ll do this to your own wife Jonathan! No. I won’t let you do this again. I won’t leave. Obviously I am not a great mom, because you are doing this to me. How could you Tom? Why? Tom: ‘I don’t know. It doesn’t seem right does it?’ Me: ‘No! It’s not right. This is wrong!’

Jonathan told the kids, since I would not go...pack up and come with him. Josh cried, he said to me by the door...’Mom this is my fault. Pastor Ron asked me if you were afraid. I told him yes.’ I looked at him, ‘Josh. This is not your fault! I love you. Take care of your little sister.’ They were so sad. I broke down after they left.

Tom stayed. Told me to obey leadership. I said I am going to my family in NY. Packed a little bag, looked around the living room, decorated for Christmas. Scooped up the family photo albums. Your dad followed me up to NY in his truck. He said he called and told Sarah about it on the way. Later he told Gretel. He would not tell my dad or sisters and brothers. I don’t know what he told his mom and dad. I was in shock. It was the beginning, though I had no way of knowing, a 9 year nightmare struggle to see/talk to/love/be near my own 4 children. Calvary Temple of Sterling, Virginia stole my children. From me, then their father, sister and nephews, and grandparents, and all extended relations and old friends.

A religion of thieves and murderers...character assassination of parents, bad men and women stealing the hearts/lives of young people from their own families. Done in the name of God, gives it credibility. It was wrong then. It is wrong now.

It is almost Christmas Day. Again.

I love you. Forgive you. But. Stop what you are doing. It is wrong. Come home. Call or text. I can come to you easily if you prefer. Always in my thoughts.