Letter to My Children (December 13, 2017)
We received 5 inches here overnight. Everything is covered with white snow. I’ve been baking Christmas cookie gifts for the first time since Pastor Scott encouraged Dad and Jonathan and Carly to put me away on Christmas Day 2011. Like we have done since I was a little girl with my mom, trays of all kinds, baked and piled on pretty plates for neighbors, friends. You remember. I found a few pictures of you girls baking and goofing around in the kitchen, aprons on! And this note from Sarah tucked into the recipe box with her Sister Cookies recipe card tucked inside. Lol. Blessed memories of our wonderful family.
It was cruel of Pastor Scott to ruin Christmas for us. Always the memories will burden our hearts on what should be a day of peace, joy, and a celebration of the birth of Jesus. Instead of memories of a mother instantly deprived of children, husband, home. And my five children deprived of Mom. Tom forced to put out his wife or be outed himself.
Allow me to share some good memories since.... A family visiting for Christmas took me to a movie and held my hand during the show because I was crying. Others calling to say they are going to try and reach my children, and do I have a message for you, that they could relay. Surprise flower deliveries. Meals brought and left with a note. Hugs. Lots of hugs and shared tears and coffee from unannounced visits. Always invitations, even though I rarely accept them, they still come, and we are still wanted and missed. The Christmas cards in the mail, although I rarely send any, mean so much. Texters saying we are loved, they are proud of us, don’t give up.
Jesus said to ‘visit the widow and the orphan in their affliction.’ I am not much for going to peoples homes now. I miss you so much, being in family houses is painful. When individuals want to be at the cottage, even though we are not super happy, I know they are Christlike. It is much easier to invite people over than to go and be with them in their sorrow. This is called bearing one another’s burden. So Jonathan, Sarah, Joshua, and Christina, you will have lots of people waiting to do the same for you as they have done for us. To hug you and say ‘...got your back, and it's going to be alright.’
Always I love you. No matter what you have done, or what you have become, come home. Contact me secretly or openly, and I will come to you, as fast as I can. You are my children. I love you.
God bless us, everyone.
Xo Mom
