#5 Dear Jonathan, Sarah, Joshua and Christina,
#5 Dear Jonathan, Sarah, Joshua and Christina,
How are you? I so miss you. Just in from the prettiest walk. Birds, sun, blue sky and woods. And God. He will restore these painful years. He will bring you back again to your mom and all the family. 2 Kings 8:6 …So the king appointed to her a certain officer, saying, Restore all that was hers, and all the fruits of the field since the day that she left the land, even until now.”
There have been questions asking how much do you kids know of how other families are destroyed? I don’t know what you know. Only that I did not know these stories while there. I had asked about rumors, and was lied to. When a family member is destroyed, despite Pastor Scott’s efforts to control the information, extended family become aware and involved. You cannot silence the truth. But inside Calvary Temple of Sterling Virginia itself, the truth is hidden. Here is an excerpt from David Henke discussing spiritually abusive churches. He has written a book.
In a high control religious group the most important control factor is the flow of information. We have all heard the saying that "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing" but the converse of that is that the lack of knowledge can be even more dangerous. The prophet Hosea said, "My people perish for lack of knowledge."
There are essentially two reasons for high control mechanisms to exist. First, the "truth" of the group is not the truth at all and must be defended with lies and those lies must of necessity be strongly enforced. Second, the leader is a narcissist, or a controlling personality, and feels insecure or threatened by anyone around him who does not submit to his will.
A Spiritually Abusive Pastor/church will:
- Act like they have a Superior Status With God
- Focus on their Position of Authority
- No transparent Checks and Balances to Authority
- Try to control Your Time and Sources of Information
- Close You Off From Outsiders
- Put You on a Performance Treadmill
- Emphasize Conformity to Rules
- Use Fear to get you to Comply
- Use Misfortune as God’s judgement
- Wound People Spiritually and Emotionally
- Shut Off Discussion labeling it as Gossip
- Label Those Who Dissent
- Label Former Members as unsaved or demonized
There are so many books on Spiritual Abuse, and they are helpful. Hindsight is 20/20. Mostly church members with predatory pastors are unaware of the lies, or the abuse, until it happens to one of their own or themselves. Evil is not on their radar unless it comes dressed in black with a pitchfork. More than likely our kids are being used, and unaware of so much. Thankfully the surrounding Virginia area knows exactly what Calvary Temple is. From experience.
I love you all. Mom
