Letter to My Children (June 25, 2017)

Dear Children,

     This video was sent to me recently by another godly mother, who is fighting for her children and grandchildren to be restored to them. Of course, you remember who Carter Conlon is; he is the son-in-law of the late David Wilkerson. He is a pastor of the Times Square Church in NYC.
     His church (along with the headquarters of Calvary Chapel in California and the Voice of the Martyrs main office) is who I called after being put away. I explained what had been done to me, by my husband at the pastor's direction. They were horrified. All three pastors from all three ministries were appalled and very concerned for my safety and the safety of you children.
     Each of the three pastors spent a long time talking with me, asking about my punishment, and the meetings held with the pastors, and then explained it was not 'authenticity Christianity' as Pastor Ron Zarou had tried to tell me when I protested. They said that it was cult-like, manipulative and abusive treatment, and even if it was cloaked in the Gospel, it was a misrepresentation of Gods heart and love for his church. Totally wrong, and to flee the church with my children as fast as possible. To not try to reason with the pastors, because if they were doing this to me publicly, then they were doing much worse behind closed doors. They'd seen men like this before. Greedy and power hungry. Lustful and untruthful. Dividers of families and back biters who destroy anyone opposing their position of authority.
     It was these three pastors, who prayed with me and encouraged me to document everything and to be totally open with what had been done to me. Not hiding out of embarrassment, but just honestly telling what was done. They all, (interestingly) quoted the same verse, 'They shall know the truth, and the truth shall set them free.' This was the verse I had on my mind all the time, that my children need to know the truth, so I must tell them what happened. So they can be set free. At the time, I had no idea how many other people would read these letters, and be set free from their own hellish memories of abuse at Calvary Temple. Or the courage it would give to others to shake the dust, finally, and move on in their walk with the Lord, knowing they are not the guilty party. I am glad.
     But my letters must continue because I do not have my own babies back yet. When that happens, I will probably cease to write these letters. Until that time, I must be strong and continue to fight for you to be restored to our family again.

Love, hugs and kisses,

Letter to My Children (June 23, 2017)

Dear Children,

     I love you all so much. You know that. I call and leave messages on your phones that you do not answer even once. I text (or try to if I am unblocked in a random display of control I guess). I come down and knock on your doors, every other month or so. Leaving messages in chalk on your sidewalks, or written in the dew on your car windows. Sometimes I leave little presents there for you. You are my children. I raised you, loved you, cried over you, laughed with you, read Calvin & Hobbs with you, quoted poems together, memorized Psalm 23 together, decorated your rooms, taught you to make a good pie, debated hot topics with you, talked dad into hunting lessons and a 4wheeler and Nintendo games, insisted on music lessons,  paid for your schooling, paid for your upbringing, took you on vacations, invited all your various friends to come stay with us, took you skiing, took you to swimming and flight classes, taught you to drive, taught you how to treat others with kindness, respect authority, honor your father and honor pastors, love one another and care for your family first, work hard, study, dress nicely, have fun adventures, make lifelong friends and keep them close, and on and on....
    Jonathan, you told me when you and your dad carried out Pastor's orders to put me away on Christmas Day, that I was a 'great mom.' Your words. Ok. So listen now to your great mom. You are doing a bad thing. You are believing lies and committing wicked deeds against your mother and father and extended family members. Please stop son. You have been hoodwinked. By men who look good, smell good and sound good. But they are not good. Their words sound fine. Christian sermons that other pastors would even nod their heads yes to, but this separation of parents and children, and husbands and wives and even more heinous things being done to people is ungodly. It is a reproach to the Lord Jesus Christ.
     I know it's hard to accept that you have been tricked and lied to by the pastors. But no matter what, pursue the truth. Come and spend a whole day and let me tell you everything that's happened in the past five years. You have no idea what is going on. Just like I did not. Back then, people were afraid to talk. But they are not afraid to talk anymore. People are speaking up about what was done to them. Through these letters to you children, many more have found comfort and courage to share their own story of abuse at the hands of the pastors of Calvary Temple.
     We will be together soon, all of us. I think, by now, Pastor Scott must be getting pretty tired of being a despised bad guy, down there. I hope he and Greer will repent and do what is right, and send my children home to me so I can hold them in my arms again. Laugh again. Stop writing letters for the whole world to read, and just say all that's in my heart to my children face to face. The way we used to. It's time to come home.

Love you so very much.
God bless you children,

Letter to Molly from a Friend (June 16, 2017)

Hello Molly,

     I just want to say thanks for your speaking out about what was done to your family. I know you try to protect your husband and his relatives, by not sharing the full story. And appreciate your reasons, which you articulated to me at one point. However, it takes a lot of gumption to write your blog. Please post this note. We stand with you and your kids, and I applaud your courage and honesty. And wish everyone could hear the whole...it makes me mad to see good people maligned falsely. If there is a God in heaven, you will be vindicated, hope it's sooner rather than later.

 -E. & A.G.

Letter to Joshua (June 12, 2017)

Dear Joshua,

     For a few months now, you were able to receive my calls and texts, I believe, because another kind soul at Calvary sent me your number. I thought I had it, because when I had been put away, you had the phone we gave you, and I called you often. A year later, I was notified anonymously, that you had another number, given you through your work part time with Calvary Deacon Mike Gardner. So I began using that number mostly, occasionally using the old NY one because it was still active. Then came the newest and 3rd number, just a few months ago. I cried. This means that for the past five years, my messages of love and hope have been received by a stranger. Someone who never identified to me that you were not the recipient of each call and text. Someone who listened to them all, and now apparently gave them to the leadership of Calvary. Or perhaps the leadership was in possession of that 2nd number all along? Intercepting all communication from a mother to her son, who was forbidden to talk to her, on pain of?
     I am shocked and saddened. What kind of a man or woman teaches a teenager and young adult to abide by such wicked methods of deception? Did you realize dear son of mine, that your phone was being used by others who never told me it was no longer your phone? Did your wife Olivia know about this? Did her parents who attend Calvary, Randy and Lynn know about this deception? Did Josh's boss Mike know about this? Because it was confirmed to me yesterday, that leadership in Calvary Temple spoke of my texts and voicemails that I was leaving to my son Joshua, to others, even misquoting them. And of course, I have them on my phone. And the number I was calling, was not his phone. He has another number exactly the same, only the last digit was different. When I called it, there was Josh's voice again. 
     When I received the newest 3rd number, I called the 2nd one and left a voicemail asking why the recipient hadn't let me know I had a wrong number? And that they should be ashamed. I also called my children and left them messages about this cruel trick done to hurt my Josh, making him feel alone without any loving messages from his mom for years!!!!!! It's so awful; I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. At the time honestly, I didn't want to believe it could be deliberate on the part of people in Calvary to keep Josh from hearing my voice. Or that they were listening. I don't like to assume. But after being informed yesterday from a sensitive source, I cried. It's just too wicked to fathom. My heart is sore from the level of depravity exhibited by men and women who proclaim Christ.
     Sometimes I lose hope, seems like we're caught up in a soap opera of epic size, then comes along things like the Tactics post today. And I shake myself, and think soon we will all be together again; Pastor Scott will call me and say he's sorry for allowing this all these years or allowing others to do them to our family, under his watchful eyes. And I will hug my children and grandchildren and try to forget the past. But Joshua, let me tell you this, I have NEVER, NOT ONCE blamed you or your brothers and sisters. I thought Pastor Scott was a good guy, and of course, you also do. I did not know what I know today, and of course, you don't either. So many people have called me and told me things I never knew of. But for the bravery of those who now speak up publicly, this stuff would NOT be known. And I feel like I must share my story, because it helps others, and warns my children.
     But now the hidden things are being made manifest. Because God loves and wishes all men to turn from their sins and become born again, old things passed away and all things new. Liberty and life and truth and joy, abundant life freely given to any who want it. That's the real Good News or Gospel of Christ. And nobody can control that. Period.

Love you son of mine,

Your Mother -- who thinks you are practically perfect and handsome and smart and hardworking and loyal and loving and generous. God bless you, my son.