Letter to Jonathan, Sarah, Joshua and Christina from Denise (August 4, 2016)

Dear Jonathan, Sarah, Joshua and Christina,

     I turned 50 this past month, and didn't want to celebrate or make it into a big thing. Just a quiet dinner at home with family seemed like a good idea. But Jon and Sarah you know Andrew. 100 of our closest friends and family and a huge chicken bar-b-que was how we spent the day, all a surprise to me. I had tried so hard not think about it, hoping to just let it pass. Instead I remembered, some happy thoughts, some sad. Your mama was there with Dad and Gretel and her beautiful children, your nephews. She's an amazing Mom. So loving and calm and protective. Brought me right back to when Molly and I were young and raising our babies together. My goodness if I  am 50, Andrew will soon be 30. That means Jonathan had already turned 30 in May, and Sarah must be 28 cause Ad is 27, which makes Gretel and Gel 25. It also means I've know your Mom for 30 years. I was just 20 and pregnant with my first baby when my Mom said, "Honey I want you to meet someone, she is wonderful. She will be a great friend to you!" My Mom was right, 30 years later your Mom is still my best friend. 30 years Jon, as old as you are. I was there when you were born, you too Sarah, Gretel, Josh, Christina. I was there when your Mom had hip surgery, her only concern was you. When she got a pool because Jonathan and Sarah loved to swim, she knew it meant more work but that didn't matter to her, you did. So many memories, so much love. I witnessed you being raised, but more importantly I know you were loved. Loved, cared for, protected, taught right and wrong and it was your Mama. She was the example my Mom wanted me to learn from, and I thank God every single day for my mother's wisdom. This past year has been incredibly hard my Moms health is failing, she was always so strong. I try not to think about the future, mostly because I cannot imagine my life without her. All the while, even through her own grief, Molly has been by my side. I have a small understanding now of how you must feel, how your hearts must hurt. How you must miss the amazing mother God blessed you with. The beautiful sister, and nephews he graced you with. It's been 5 years, so much time lost, so many memories missed. Come home, call, visit, send a letter. You are loved, prayed for, sought after, remembered, never forgotten and never given up on.

All my love, thoughts and prayers.
Denise